Parenting Paradox …

I find myself struggling with something I never thought would be an issue. The thing I want most for my children is self-confidence. We are always giving our children positive attention for jobs well done, from the first smile to the first step, the first stick figure to the first bike ride without training wheels. They are rewarded with smiles, hugs, encouraging words and, yes, sometimes even chocolate!

So why is it that my 9-year-old can complete a near-perfect math test but the next day be frazzled by the very same homework? Why is it that she doesn't believe she is capable? Have I not praised her enough? Have I praised her so much that she is unable to trust her abilities without encouragement? Perhaps I have not taught her to look within and see it for herself.

It's a frustrating paradox that something so positive can backfire and become a negative; that some children must always seek the approving nod of their peers or parents before believing in themselves.

Happy sweeping!

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com